Saturday, December 24, 2011

Greatest Christmas CD Covers EVER presents "In The Mouth Of Madness"

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MARIAH CAREY - MERRY CHRISTMAS II YOU
"So what's goin' on up there?"

"It's her again. Should I call the cops?"

"Don't bother. They think it's funny. She's been breaking into buildings all over the city and setting up bad Christmas displays on the roofs."

"Why?"

"Who knows? ... What's she doin' now?"

"It's weird. She's just sitting there like she's posing for a picture, but she's the only one up there..."

Friday, December 23, 2011

Greatest Christmas CD Covers EVER presents "The Lonely Lads"

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ON CHRISTMAS NIGHT
I hope those candles are enough to keep those kids warm. Imagine, locked in a church on Christmas Eve! Awful. Keep your wits, boys. You'll make it through this.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Greatest Christmas CD Covers EVER presents "Next Time, Go With The Accordianist"

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LADY ANTEBELLUM - A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS
Okay, take a seat and spare me the attitude, Haircut. I hired you three to play my Christmas party and you show up with no instruments? You're not getting paid to sit there and pose. So give us Jingle Bells, maybe a little Deck The Halls, then get the hell out of here.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Greatest Christmas CD Covers EVER presents "The Chauffeur"

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A TENORS CHRISTMAS
Just like in real life, they make Carreras drive.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Greatest Christmas CD Covers EVER presents "Don't Forget The Ski Pants!"

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MICHAEL MCDONALD - THROUGH THE MANY WINTERS
No, this isn't the cover of the latest Eddie Bauer catalog, but if you bring the CD cover in to your local Eddie Bauer, you'll receive 10 dollars off Gore-Tex mittons!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Greatest Christmas CD Covers EVER presents "Christmas at The Sands"

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DEAN MARTIN - MY KIND OF CHRISTMAS
Awww, yeah. My kind of Christmas too, pal! Booze and broads and ring-a-ding-ding and sing-a-sing-sing! Bring Vegas right into your living room with this LP! Sounds exhausting. No thanks.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Greatest Christmas CD Covers EVER presents "A Paid Announcement"

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STRAIGHT NO CHASER - CHRISTMAS CHEER
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Saturday, December 17, 2011

Greatest Christmas CD Covers EVER presents "The Hinge of Fate"

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CHRISTMAS - SING ALONG WITH MITCH
If even a grinch like satanist Anton LaVey can get into the spirit of the season, I'd say Christmas is in pretty good shape these days.

This is a turning point in the War On Christmas. The forces of the Desolate One, now pledging to celebrate Christ's birth, will join Christmas revellers and well-wishers in raining hellfire down on the heads of their enemies.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Greatest Christmas CD Covers EVER presents "Calm Before The Storm"

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CELTIC THUNDER - CHRISTMAS
The ghost of Rob Lowe's uncle haunts Gorky Park.

My great aunt from the UK came over last year and the combination of a pillow-sized bag of Piggy Puffs and her pre-existing gastric condition means that I've heard my fill of Celtic Thunder for quite a while, thanks.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Greatest Christmas CD Covers EVER presents "A Man's Gotta Eat"

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TONY BENNETT - A SWINGIN' CHRISTMAS
Wouldn't it have been less work to actually get the guys around a table and snap a picture instead of taking a bunch of individual photos and photoshopping it together randomly? Really, there are random hands and heads scattered all over this thing.

This scene looks like it's about to get violent. There's at most 10 place settings represented and 15 hungry men. They're gonna tear that turkey apart like lions with roid rage.