Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Greatest Classical CD Covers EVER, Part 13

Click here for the complete (ongoing) series...


THE BEST OF JOSHUA BELL
This shot was taken from Bell's Gilmore Girls appearance. He was the sexually non-threatening fiddle playing boy who stole a kiss from Rory under the mulberry tree. Then a bunch of girls in the town went missing and the town blamed him. He was tarred and feathered and thrown in the river where he drowned. Then it turns out the girls were just on a school trip to a museum in Hartford.


DIANA DAMRAU - COLORATURAS
Diana is at the stage in her career where she needs dolled-up, Renée Fleming type CD covers. Not ones where she's dressed up like Rhoda's spazzy sister doing a grim parody of the freeze frame at the of the Mary Tyler Moore Show intro credits.


HAUSMUSIK
This looks like a screen capture from a bad real estate website. The web designer was obviously just throwing together random clip art. "Sylvia and David have been in the Rochester real estate market for a combined 27 years. Let their experience and expertise take all the stress out of your home buying experience. With their help, you can turn your new house into a HOME."


GUASTAVINO / CASTELNUOVO-TEDESCO
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go! Let me go! Bismillah! We will not let you go! Let me go! No no no no no no no! Oh mamma mia, mamma mia! Mamma mia, let me go! Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


MADARASZ - THE LAST WALTZ
Wow. This one takes me back! Mommy slipping me spiked tea while she dances with some blurry weirdo who isn't daddy. And my closet was a wonderful portal to some exotic magical land. Well, it was until we discovered the auto repair shop below us was leaking carbon monoxide into my room.


WITCHES' BREW
A generation of children were turned off classical music forever by this cover. An easily-entertained woman in baggy clothes cleans used instruments in boiling water, presumably with an eye to reselling them. This one follows one of the iron clad rules of great album cover design: a cover must give absolutely no indication of the album's contents. This could be a spooky sound effects record for all we know.


TITO GOBBI - THE GLASS MOUNTAIN
Nothing like a beloved singer made up to look like a hobo playing a broken down accordian. This is as distressing as seeing Placido Domingo in a Bum Fights video. Maybe Tito was doing a Lucille Ball Stone Pillow kinda deal with this. Or maybe it's from a Gunsmoke guest appearance with Walter Brennan. Just when you think you have the answer, this cover changes the question.

1 comment:

Northwest Concert and Events Blog said...

Definitely, I agree with your list of greatest classical CD covers. Really feels great that Joshua Bell is included in your list.