Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Greatest Classical CD Covers EVER, Part 10

Click here for the complete (ongoing) series...


DES KNABEN WUNDERHORN - DAMRAU/PALEY
I hate these couples who dress up alike. You always see them truckin' down the mall wearing their matching windbreakers. Dressing alike is crazy - I fathered septuplets and you don't see me dressing them all up the same! These two will realize it isn't such a good idea anymore when they're riding home on the subway and everyone's snickering at them.


GARRETT/PLETNEV - VIOLIN CONCERTOS
Edward from Twilight is menaced by a robotic, self-aware cello while he tries to practice.


PETER EN DE WOLF
The classical music industry's undeclared war on children's psychological health continues. The drug-addled wolf with human eyes looks like he's about to start speaking and the kid looks like his mouth's about to open and keep opening until he swollows his own head. The bird is a messenger from Satan and the duck is an appalled, powerless onlooker. As are we all.


VERDI - SIMON BOCCANEGRA (ABBADO)
Another great choice for the Opera for Children. So it turns out the Doge is actually Santa Claus. Now the council scene makes a lot more sense. I was always confused why everyone was arguing about how to get all the toys done before December 25. I don't remember the opera ending with Boccanegra's head and shoulders being cut off and nailed to a door, though...


TIMOTHY BUZBEE - RAW EMOTIONS
Wine, a hot spring and one other guy was not what you were expecting when you signed up for the local polar bear club.


META 4 - HAYDN STRING QUARTETS
A good rule of thumb is never buy a disc of string quartet music which features a picture of the group on the cover. You guys wanna turn the scowling down a notch and ditch the crazy sneakers? We get it: you're bohemian. These guys are giving me the stink eye as though I just wandered into the coffee house they were playing in and ordered a Big Mac.


FLUTE AND HARPSICHORD SONATAS
Wow. Randy Bassoon Man looks like he can't wait for the recital to be over. Annie Hall Diane Keaton on cello is not looking forward to it. Maybe he'll get drunk and pass out in the cab and she can slip away and walk home.

Interesting choice to feature a bassoon and cello on an album of flute and harpsichord music. This kind of switcheroo isn't unprecedented, though:


Thanks to Dominy Clements and Kyra Davies for the cover suggestions.

2 comments:

Colby Cosh said...

Is there going to be a paroxysm of tears and self-harm if I point out that it's "des", not "das"?

Idus said...

Look at that "Peter and the wolf" cover. WHAT IS THE WOLF SMOKING?!?!?!?!?