Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Save some shelf space

The first issue I ever bought was from September 1991. I'd experienced the Ring for the first time the previous year (Solti's Rheingold from the library and the complete Met cycle on 4 consecutive nights on PBS in June) and was mainly a reader of Classic CD. I switched to the Gramophone a few years before they finally went under and was glad to see them go. They'd done a format change where they were trying to be everything to everybody (I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in world music reviews) and they were employing sub-par reviewers. I still remember my rage upon reading a reviewer complain about a recording of Beethoven's 9th which didn't feature an exposition repeat in the first movement. Since Beethoven DOESN'T CALL FOR ONE, I doubt the fool HAD EVER HEARD A RECORDING THAT DID DO THE NONEXISTENT REPEAT. (I'm still angry about it).

It is weird to look back a few decades, especially the ads. Check out this one from the June 1973 issue. It's for the latest release in Haitink's Concertgebouw Bruckner cycle which in its current incarnation is sitting on my CD shelf behind me.

I wonder what someone back then would have thought if he could see the classical listener of today.

1973 Man: So you're from the future? Tell me, did Bernard Haitink finish his Bruckner cycle?

2009 Man: Why yes he did. As a matter of fact, I have it here in my rucksack. It's on these shiny discs. See how they're smaller than a 45 RPM record?

1973 Man: So you still use discs? Aren't you from 36 years in the future?

2009 Man: Well, I have this. It's called an iPod. There's over 1000 hours of music on it.

1973 Man: Well, that's interesting. It may be a good idea to have it on some kind of tiny chip which maybe you could plug into your arm or something.

2009 Man: Yeah, we don't have that yet.

1973 Man: Well, in any event, I'm sure it's useful for when you're flying to the moon on a vacation.

2009 Man: Uh, we don't do that.

1973 Man: Why not? The moonbase up there is for scientific use only? Must be a lot of military guys up there too.

2009 Man: No, actually, we haven't been back since 1972.

1973 Man: But cancer's cured, right?

2009 Man: Well, no. But we're getting there.

1973 Man: Flying cars? Jet packs? No?...... GIMME THAT IPOD.

2009 Man: No, let me go!

(they scuffle. 2009 Man is knocked unconscious to the ground.)

1973 Man: Know something, little gadget. You're going to make me MILLIONS.

And that's how the iPod was invented.

1 comment:

Colby Cosh said...

Man. There are just unbelievable quantities of unshaven beaver in the issues from '75 and '76. Weird times.