Friday, February 1, 2008

Greatest Classical CD Covers EVER, Part VI

Click here for the complete (ongoing) series...

PATRICK SHERIDAN - BON BONS
Another nightmare from another psychotic brass player. I'd never go to one of this guy's recitals. Right after he comes onstage, I'd have to lean over to the stranger beside me and mutter "Isn't that the guy who was streaking in the parking lot?"

LE CARNAVAL DES ANIMAUX
Now this I have to buy. It's the first album made by Lion Head since he left the Beaux Arts Trio. I'm a little skeptical about his forming a band with Rabbit Head and Dogalope Head given their past indiscretions. And Rooster Head Jr. may be great shakes in the jazz world but does he have the discipline for classical? But the advance buzz is great and this is likely a dark horse for this year's Gramophone awards.

SHOSTAKOVICH/KHACHATRYAN/FRANCK VIOLIN SONATAS
These two arthouse types are so blasé about everything they don't even notice their fancy coffee house table is on fire! Serves those pomo snobs right. I can tell you that's never happened to me at Tim Hortons.

POWER YOUR MIND TO AVOID MENSTRUAL CRAMPS
This came up on a search for opera cd covers. I'm not going to question Google. I'm making an unqualified recommendation for this cd. If you like the late Beethoven quartets, you'll love this disc.

PAVAROTTI'S OPERA MADE EASY - MY FAVORITE OPERA FOR CHILDREN
Is this a compilation? Doesn't sound like it from the title. So is the singular referred-to opera Hansel and Gretel? Can't be because Pavarotti never heard a German opera in his life. My own pick for favorite opera for children is Dialogue of the Carmelites.

NIKOLAI MASSENKOFF SINGS WITH BALALAIKA ORCHESTRA
This guy swung through my town a few summers ago. Unfortunately it was the hottest one in memory. He came trucking out on stage wearing about 50 pounds of fur. He was flat on his back onstage screaming for water before he finished the second number. He lost the crowd and most people filed out at that point which is too bad. He stripped down to his boxers and finished his set like a pro. I never heard one balalaika all night.

PATRICK SHERIDAN - LOLLIPOPS
I'm starting to wonder if this guy actually plays tuba or if he's some kind of Gallagher-type prop comic. Or maybe he's a clown act. He probably comes out, makes like he's going to play something, then giggles like a maniac while throwing candy into the audience. I could get into it if it was Kaufmanesque performance art but as it stands, NO SALE.

3 comments:

Liz said...

Hilarity at its most hilarious. You ROCK! I mean, I LOVE YOU!

Colby Cosh said...

Personally I find children can't resist the playful slapstick of Birtwistle's Punch and Judy.

Elsa said...

I were with my parents in the car, coming back home from restaurant. And suddenly I started to giggle (NOT quiet). Parents were seriously worried about me, but I was just thinking about your "Greatest Classical CD Covers" (particular Ghost of Elgar)
please, MORE :)